1st of June: Hello, Goodbye!

Welcome back, June.

A month that I already waiting for months.

Simply because, I really love this month.

A month that my Mom gave me a birth, exactly on 19th June, 1990.

A month where I should have to be happy, because I am going to have new age.

Instead of I am getting older.

Last night I feel really happy because today it's already the 1st of June.

There are so many people that I love, also having birthday this month.

Even for a man that I (used to) love. He also have a birthday as mine. In June.

He even started to called me or us with Twinnie. Simply because we born under the same Zodiac sign.

Gemini.

Earlier this year, I tried to open my heart to the one that I (ever) trust the most.

The one that I thought, he is the one that I need.

The one that I thought God sent to me, so I won't feel alone anymore.

Till that day, you said that you started to love and missed me.

Everyday.

Back then, I was falling for you too.

(if you are still remember that time)

It was very nice to spent my days with you.

Somewhere along the way, I found and realized so many things about you.

Things I never thought it was you.

I tried to ignore this feeling, once and twice. Keep my negative feelings go away from me.

And keep my trust and half of my heart only for him.

Back then, I tried to give up with all of shits that happens in my life.

All of shits which related to you.

I am tired to be an optional in your heart.

At the same time, I am tired you always pushed me to do what you want, without thinking about myself and my heart.

Although you knew, I falling for you since the very first time.

I got tired of always trying to make everything between us okay.

I was hoping that we might be find a way to change and turn it back to what it used to be.

But people change and things aren't what they used to be anymore.

I have to draw the line because there comes a point where I just finally realized he never take my heart seriously.

Will never.

Then I finally realized, we are not meant to be.

Might be, will never.

I just wanted to tell you that I'm so happy you've stepped into my life, even for a short while.

You've taught me and made me realized a lot of things about myself and the people around me.

You made me realized that I shouldn't put my trust to anyone that easily.

I realized every things that comes easily, they will not stay for long time.

I've learned to not expects more of every things that happens in my (love) life.

Because the less you expect from them, the less you can be hurt by them.

I wouldn't let you to judge me all over again, to stop and changed me from being me.

Because if I do, I am afraid I will be someone else that I never know.

Your 'someone' else that you wanted to be.

Thanks for being part of my life.

Thanks for all of what you did to me.

It was (really) beautiful.

Thanks for making my 1st day of June, cloudy like Jakarta skies today.

I'm going to miss you.

So for both of our sakes.

For my heart that already hurt.

This is my goodbye to you.

I am done.

Hello, June!

Goodbye, You.

#love #thoughts